It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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