can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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