so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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