RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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