i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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