do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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