Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
