Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
