and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
