Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
