Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
