I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it's like heaven, but drunker
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
