Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
