Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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