I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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