so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
This beer is not sobering me up at all
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize