I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
