I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
