Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
