i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
