Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
