i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
