I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
