i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
