ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
operation harelip BJ is a go
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
