Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
