As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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