we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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