So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
