He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
