We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
