just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
