Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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