so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
