Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
