I'm going to jail i love you
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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