Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
