But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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