At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
