She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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