I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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