anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
