She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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