Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
