she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
