Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
