My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
that's an acceptable place to lick
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
