Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
