Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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