Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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