dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it's like iHOP with fire
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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