I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
my sisters under your porch take her home
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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